Geckos and Car insurance: intrinsically connected?

Since the Geico commercials came out, there has been an increasing awareness as to what a gecko really is. What was your idea of the pre-Geico gecko? (a) a dehydrated snack from one of the organic food-lidded containers at the supermarket (b) the part of a leaf stem that sucks the water from the branch (c) the knob at the end of your Venetian blind cord (d) the sound made by a 5 year-old when he drops his spoon. Thanks to Geico, now everyone has other things to wonder about. Some may wonder, "What do geckos have to do with car insurance?" Plenty, as long as one has had enough drinks. Perhaps there's a hidden, encoded reason besides the obvious fact that Geico can be purposely mispronounced "gecko."

There is a deluge of information on gecko-care on the Internet. Sources recommend gecko owners to "Cover at least one side of the [gecko's] enclosure with paper or a decorative backing to give the gecko a sense of security." So that's their relationship to car insurance. Some people still do the gecko thing. They cover one side of their car with paper or a decorative backing. Often it's a shiny foil surface. It gives them a sense of security. Of course, it makes more sense if the car is stationary and parked in a very sunny area. This saves eyeballs.

Geckos lick their eyeballs, according to the Wellington New Zealand Zoo official animal guide. Not other geckos' eyeballs, silly. Their own. They have one transparent scale in place of each eyelid. With their reckless driving in polluted areas, they are bound to collect particulate matter everywhere. Some people do the gecko thing and save money. They lick their contact lenses.

Whether the reader wears contact lenses or glasses, there's plenty of gecko trivia to read from the Georgia Reptile and Amphibian Rescue Effort (GRARE). GRARE provides proper care instructions for various creatures whether gecko or non-gecko. Apparently geckos should not be fed anything longer than their heads. This means they can eat engagement rings, bite your fingers off from the side, and chomp on most of your toes. Be very very aware, because geckos are now related to car insurance. Car insurance. Insurance. Insurance salesmen. Bite.

Being very aware, you might have asked the following: "Can geckos be trained to drive very small vehicles?" Most geckos don't drive very small vehicles. But for geckos that do, they don't talk on their cell phones. They can't. Today's cell phone is usually bigger than a gecko. This includes add-ons and headsets. As time passes, cell phones will become smaller and more compact. Someday cell phones will be so incredibly small, they'll disappear completely into the fibers of corporate carpeting. They'll be adapted into hearing aids for the world's population of geckos driving small vehicles. Worse yet, squirrels could exploit those micro-cellphone hearing aids to take over the world. They'll perform surgery on their fellow woodland creatures to implant these devices in all animal brains! They'll communicate telepathically! It's time to panic!!! *ahem*