How to not be ‘that guy’

Over my four glorious years at Gonzaga, I have seen it all as an intramural referee. I have seen girls get trucked by ferocious males in flag football, last-second buzzer beaters kiss the nylon and softball bombs that nearly hit the ever-so-sacred COG. Intramurals are an integral part of the college experience and something that every person, regardless of athletic ability, should participate in. This being said, I have identified certain qualifications, suggestions and guidelines that will make everyone's intramural experience at Gonzaga a home run.

Don't fool yourself, you're not that good:This rule particularly applies to the freshman class. Many freshmen are fresh out of varsity athletics, which is the peak of their sporting careers. In some cases, they dominated the realm of athletics less than a year ago and they are now eager to show all the freshman females, who flock to their intramural games, how great they really are. WRONG.

Intramurals are unique. They have different rules and guidelines that are new to all freshmen. They need to learn skills and strategies that they have never needed to know before, like how to successfully block in flag football looking like a handcuffed criminal locked in the drunk tank. It's not that easy. Almost all sports, with the exception of basketball, have unique rules that take time to get used to.

Freshmen be warned. Trying to do too much too fast will make sure you fall flat on your face. Learn the rules and style of play before entering the holy ranks of A and B leagues. There is also a message to the upperclassmen: Freshmen are consistently in better shape. Because they are just out of high school athletics, their cardiovascular systems are superior. Not long ago, while they were going through high school workouts, we were sitting at Jack & Dan's. We may be smarter, but they are faster.

This is not the seventh game of the World Series: People need to take a deep breath. I love competition and I will be the first one to admit that I am an avid competitor when playing intramurals, but there is a difference between being competitive and being delusional. There is no reason at any point to get up in the face of another player, shove another player, or take a cheap shot at their groin.

Students need to put intramurals in perspective. You win a white T-shirt. Play intramurals to enjoy the thrill of competition and the opportunity to play sports with your friends. Yeah, at some point throughout the year, your competitive mindset may compel you to say something that you probably shouldn't have said, but don't be the guy or girl that the referees see on the field and think, "Here we go again." The student that acts like Kobe Bryant when he doesn't get a call is the player no one enjoys playing with. Including the players on his/her own team.  Have some respect for yourself and your team.

"Ref, you're blowing the game": The job of the intramural referee does not compare to the simplicity of many other campus jobs, such as the desk job at Crosby. Referees are put in a unique situation to be in a authoritative position among fellow students. Intramural referees did not come to Gonzaga to pursue a career as professional referees. They came to Gonzaga to pursue an education just like every other student, so give referees a break. They want to perform well just as much as the players on the field, but with the nature of sports, mistakes are made. When this occurs, don't be a Bobby Knight, take a page from Charlie Chaplin's book and be quiet.

Get your game on: When given the opportunity to play sports with the opposite sex, it's a no-brainer. Our whole lives, we have been barred by the social barbwire of playing organized sports with only our own sex.

Intramurals reveal a bright and magnificent world of coed athletics. It gives you a chance to get to know people of the opposite sex better, hint-hint-wink-wink. 

You may even be the recipient or provider to an occasional "good game slap." I am a fan of trying new things, and this is a perfect opportunity to play sports in a different environment with different people. Best-case scenario: Someone of the opposite sex is so impressed by your intramural skills, you get married and live happily ever after. Worst-case scenario: You accidentally take down the pants of an opponent of the opposite sex while trying to grab his/her flags.

The worst type of people are sandbaggers: You know who you are. Does it really get your juices going that much to run up the score on students who carry little athletic ability? I cry a little bit each time I have to witness a team of decent athletic ability completely demoralize a team that looked to have fun in D League.

Build your ego somewhere else, go to the top floor of the gym with your shirt off and do pull-ups. Leave the D League players alone. They don't deserve to suffer. I also promise that a win in a more competitive league will be more fulfilling. I could either play chess against Mr. Potato Head and be victorious every time or compete against a more admirable opponent. Challenge yourself and truly deserve that post-game beer at Star Bar. 

I hope these suggestions have helped put intramurals in perspective and have pushed self-reflection. I hope to see you all out on the field, and I eagerly await your complaints.