Proving your fanhood

Freshman year is a confusing time:

"Where do I live?"

"Who are these people?"

"Should I destroy this upperclassman's house?"

"Am I supposed to like this basketball team?"

Most answers to the above situations vary. But the last question has only one answer, and that is abso-effing-lutely.

So to help you through your first basketball season, we at The Bulletin's Sports Desk are here to give you all the information you need to make it through the 2011-12 campaign.

(We know that Kennel Club put you through what was seemingly a brainwashing session during Orientation, which was supposed to serve as your introduction into being a Zag-nut. But, if you are anything like us, you were probably confused as to why the Kennel Club was metaphorically waving the leash in your face and then not taking you on a walk. Seriously, why were we jumping up and down, chanting if there was no game?) But, we digress.

Here is your guide to three essentials of being a proud member of the Kennel Club. (These thoughts are the sole property of the writers and do not reflect those of the Kennel Club, The Gonzaga Bulletin, or anyone sane, for that matter.)

HERE WE GO!

Surviving ticket distribution

By Jake Palmer

You're hung over. I get it. Ticket distribution is usually at the last time a party-hardy freshman wants to get out of bed. So you've gotta be prepared.

Bring supplies. Trust me, you don't want to sit on the old Kennel's floor for what seems like an eternity. Bring one of those fold-up chairs, and if you don't have one, go to Target and spend the $12 — it'll be worth every penny.

Also, make sure you bring plenty of Gatorade and snacks. I know the Kennel Club provides pizza at some point. But you don't want that to be your only sustenance of the early afternoon, because kids attack those pizzas like a pack of hungry lions on an injured gazelle.

Bring homework. You will be bored out of your mind if you have nothing to do, because usually the only entertainment is a Seahawks game, and that's usually less interesting than watching your own leg hair grow.

Don't freeze to death in a tent

By Ian Powell

Kennel Club will announce the time when it will tweet a selected location on campus. When the tweet goes out, mayhem ensues.  It's a first-come, first-served operation. After getting your tent number, congrats, you are now citizens of a distinguished neighborhood called "Tent City."

Camping out for basketball games is something that every freshman should experience, but it wouldn't be fair to allow you all to embark on this adventure thinking you are heading to a world filled with Candy Cane Forests and Gum Drop Mountains. Tenting out is comparable to watching "The Notebook" with your girlfriend for a week straight. Painful stuff.

I suggest that you create a schedule with the people in your tent (six per tent) that outlines when each person will be at the tent. If Kennel Club goes around "Tent City" and no one is accompanying your tent, your tent will be moved to the back of the line.

Don't be afraid to bring an age-appropriate beverage. This will keep your body warm and hopefully distract you from the skin-piercing wind. Second, bring a heater. Don't think you are invincible to Spokane's ruthless weather.

If you expect to have a heavy academic workload during the selected week, you might as well just thank your friends for the invite and sleep in the confines of your dorm. Getting schoolwork done in "Tent City" is about as possible as the Seahawks' offense constructing a successful drive.

Get the best sleeping bag you can find. Enjoy your age-appropriate beverages. If you are expecting to get a good night's sleep, you are delusional. Expect a solid two-to-three hours of sleep, waking up in the morning to see your drool frozen to your pillow. In the morning, you can count your blessings that you made it through the night without getting hypothermia.

Don't get me wrong, your miserable time in "Tent City" will all be worth it when you're just a few rows up from Rob Sacre dunking on Notre Dame.

Make your voice heard

By Justin Trujillo

This is the reason why you froze your tail off for several days.

The Kennel can be one of the biggest home court advantages in college basketball and it begins with the energy from the students. By the time Zombie Nation plays, McCarthey should be as crazy as a Charlie Sheen bender.

To give our Zags the biggest advantage possible, we all need to be on the same page: Wear the new Kennel Club shirt. If you don't have one, red is a must. Red is the color of aggression and passion, which should also be the mindset of the student section. Wear blue and people might mistake you for the pep band, and no one wants that.

Now, if you're that lazy freshmen who strolls into the game five minutes before tipoff and walks around searching for a place to stand, I have four words for you:

Stay. In. Your. Dorm.  

If you cannot come face-painted and hyped up on three Rockstars two hours before the game, you have no business being there.