I don’t ask for much. In fact, I like to think of myself as a pretty understanding, open-minded individual. Most people describe me as chill and know that — although I am passionate — it takes a lot to make me upset.
Upon walking into the COG one fine evening, I noticed something that sent chills down my spine and made all the squirrels on campus flee the premises. Chocolate Chex is gone, my friends.
And now I am upset.
Cereal never provided much joy to me or played an integral role in my daily life prior to Chocolate Chex. However, once those crisp squares entered my life, I had been changed forever. Love exists, life is beautiful and dreams do come true.
The COG crushed my dreams and now I am left to aimlessly wander through life. Only my favorite cereal will provide me the direction and life coaching required to be successful.
Chocolate Chex supported me when no one else would and we formed a very serious relationship. This unexpected breakup comes from outside factors beyond my control, and for that I am truly sorry, Chocolate Chex. I only hope that one day you can forgive me and we’ll rekindle our relationship while making up for lost time.
No longer am I able to enjoy a sugary dessert and claim it’s healthy because it’s cereal. Some days my appetite does not extend beyond cereal, and I like to feel as though I do not have terrible eating habits (which I do). There’s no way for me to convince myself I am doing just fine as an adult, and with all the other pressures in my life, I need this illusion. How am I expected to balance school, work, volunteering, friends and working out without the support of Chocolate Chex?
On cloudy days, all I want is a little something to lift my spirits and provide some sun through the darkness. Bring on the rain and storms, I suppose.
On a more serious note, there is simply no need for two containers of plain Cheerios. It makes more sense to provide at least Honey Nut Cheerios as another alternative rather than two of the same flavor. Additionally, some students have dietary restrictions, and suddenly removing a particular cereal can further reduce their already-limited options.
We can make it through these trying times together. Next time chex before you remove my Chocolate Chex.
Nicole Glidden is a news editor. Follow her on Twitter: @NicoleGlidden16.