If you’re reading this message right now, that is because some student politely asked if you would like to take a Bulletin (“Hi, would like a Bulletin?”) and you, feeling bad, took one. Right?
If you said yes, then you seem to be in the minority.
We, as “Street Team” members — the Bulletin staff writers who are contractually obligated to distribute papers weekly — acknowledge your sacrifice of taking not one, but two pity papers, as you politely take another one from a different student, knowing very well you have a Bulletin from the same week hiding in your backpack. Just letting you know, we see you and we appreciate your service.
To those people, who take Bulletins out of pity, putting us poor, tired staff writers out of our misery and then dumping them on the nearest table right after, we also appreciate you too — thanks for the inflation of our readership numbers. To the people who blatantly ignore us, turn up the music on your headphones and take an extra course around College Hall to actively avoid us — I hope you are late to class. You’re not reading this so I can say that.
It is our obligation as writers to distribute the news that we create. Obviously, if we are writing something we are hoping that someone is reading it. Being informed in the time of misinformation and fake news is rather important. Especially for those who go around labeling themselves as woke. You act like you know about politics but don’t even know who your GSBA presidents are? Sad.
Honestly though, do you ever stop to think about how fortunate we are as a college community, to have a newspaper regularly written? Content created for us, by us. Here you are, reading this content on this crisp newspaper paper that miraculously lands in your hands weekly, but do you ever stop to think about the people who get these papers into your hands? You have dinner on your plate every night at home, but do you ever stop to think about your parents who get it there? Well listen up son, because we are your underappreciated parents who deliver you piping hot content every week.
Being that it is a requirement for us to deliver at least 50-something papers weekly to the student body per person, we need to get papers into the hands of the readers, aka, you. But seeing as we are all also students, we get that you do not want to take it in the first place. I mean who wants to carry around a newspaper and be informed? Not me.
You may even try to argue, "why don’t you just post online? Why don’t you just post it to Instagram, or something?” and in response to that — we do! Except, you don’t read that either.
So, if it means passing out papers weekly, and aggressively changing our tactics from “sorry to bother you, but would like a Bulletin?” to “take the Bulletin, or else,” then we will. Because to be honest, it’s getting hot outside. I don’t want to pass out papers anymore.
In all seriousness, decide to become an informed reader on this campus and appreciate the work of your peers who are keeping you informed and up to date. Take a paper and decide to read it.
We are not trying to bug you in Hemmingson or Bulldog Alley when you are trying to get to class, we just want you to read our work — work that we are proud of. If anything, just say no thanks instead of completing ignoring us.
We might have bugged you, but it got you to read this, right?
Mila Yoch is a staff writer.