More like new year, same me. New Year’s resolutions? Not really my style — I don’t believe in waking up on the first day of a new year a completely new person. I don’t think you can just flip a switch and change your lifestyle.

Or if you can, you stick to it for a month, but eventually the exhaustion of pretending to be someone you’re not will catch up with you.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the new year always brings with it feelings of excitement, of motivation; the vision of a "new" you. I just don’t think the "new" you is going to last.

Now, personally I love the romanticized notion of new beginnings; but I think Jan. 1 is the same as any other day. Why not close your eyes and flip through a 12-month calendar, stop it on a random page, then plop your finger down and choose that day as your fresh start?

But seriously, I get resolutions. I get the poetic nature of it. I really do.

My bullet journal is currently chock full of pages and pages detailing my hopes for 2020. It even includes a quote of the year and subdivided goals for the year with different categories. 

The sections included in this journal are vast. For instance: personal growth, travel, wellness, affirmations, finances, a reading log with the goal of reading at least 20 books this year, a four-year plan AND a list of 100 things to do in 2020.

So, I get it — I love fantasizing about the new year as much as the next person, and I love and hate myself for it all at the same time.

I love the feeling of endless possibility that Jan. 1 always seems to bring. I love looking at a blank page with the numbers one to 100 and filling that page with adventures to be had and memories to be made.

I love feeling like a responsible adult by having a finance goal and a four-year plan. I love planning for all of the fun to come. I love the idea that by implementing small, tangible changes, I can be a little bit better tomorrow than I am today.

Isn’t that the whole point of resolutions? To be better than you were yesterday?

But alas, I still cringe as I look at all of my hopes and dreams for the new year written down. I cringe because I get so lost in planning for how great things are going to be that I forget to be present. 

I am always waiting for the moment to arrive where I can check an item off of my endless list of goals for the new year.

Then I feel disappointed in myself for not fulfilling all of them.

That’s why I’m more of a fan of the random day of the year to "start over" philosophy.

I don’t need to wait until Jan. 1 to start being a better me — if there are changes I really want to make, I’ll make them, regardless of the date.

New Year’s resolutions are a bit of a hoax, but I think they represent human beings’ desire to always be a little bit better.

Ginger Monroe is a staff writer

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